If you’re thinking about having children you need to prepare yourself to be asked a lot of questions. Questions that are stupid. Questions that are inappropriate. Questions that are boring. Usually they’re meant well. Or to be nosy. (Guess who’s business it is if we planned to have this child? Mine and my husband’s, thanks. Weirdo.)
My husband doesn’t get any questions. No one asks him how he’s feeling or if the baby was an accident or if she likes her baths. I feel bad for him really, because I think everyone should have a chance to come up with witty answers to these classics. But my husband isn’t into witty answers I guess. He’s more of the one-word-move-on type.
The most popular question to ask the mother of a two month old is “how is she sleeping?” This seems very innocent, even thoughtful, because how the baby sleeps directly affects how I sleep. But be warned: it is a ploy to give unwanted advice. Mothers love to tell you how to feed your baby to get her to sleep, how often to hold her, and how long to let her cry. I think it’s because it’s the one area where everything seems so out of control, the one place where it’s most likely to not have your crap together. So they want to help.
Sleep is hard for babies. I don’t blame them at all. Actually, until the very moment my child was born I hated sleep too. There’s too much to do, too much to see. Who knew you had to teach babies how to sleep? Over and over and over. Sleep transitions are the newborn’s part time job.
Well, since you’re asking: Sloan sleeps well through the night. We’ve recently transitioned (see?) her to her pack and play from a basinette and that’s a little harder to get used to. Naps are a little harder. She’s crazy about sleeping in my arms but I would go crazy sitting for three hours, so we’ve been practicing laying in her crib for naps. We’re having wins and misses with that. I’m definitely starting to learn sleep cues and patterns.
In my option, to advice givers and recipients alike, it’s okay for stuff to be messy. It’s fine if your baby can’t figure out naps or only wants to sleep in your arms. We’re all new here. Try something and see if it sticks.
And to advice givers, and I say this with so much respect, please be careful. I know you mean well, but to a new mom it’s very easy to feel like you’re saying she isn’t doing a good job.
Okay well I’m trying to rock my bundle of joy to sleep right now! Hope you have a great week!
Have you ever gotten advice you didn’t want? Do you hate sleep? Does you baby hate sleep?