Well. I haven’t written since before little Sloan got here. It turns out that being a mom is very, very busy. But also very uneventful. Someone asked me yesterday “what do you do all day?” Well, to answer that question I’ll tell you what I’m doing today. Today I’m stressing because I haven’t done the dishes in three days but I’ve been sitting on the couch for 2 1/2 hours trying to get a grumpy 6 week old to take a nap. Thank goodness for coffee and podcasts. Mom life is busy.
I love it. I love being a mom. And now that I’m six weeks in, I can talk about the things that surprised me so far.
1. Babies don’t do anything on their own.
I simply had no idea that I would spend the majority of my day helping my baby do everything. Babies are known for doing just three things: eating, sleeping, and pooping. But they can do none of those things alone. The eating part is obvious but things like pumping the legs to help her poop and walking around the house holding her because she tired and grumpy but won’t sleep are less obvious.
2. It feels so foreign at first.
In the beginning days after we came home from the hospital all I wanted was to cuddle with my husband and have an actual conversation. But I was too busy helping my baby stay alive (see above). And we were both so sleep deprived, I’m not we counted as human beings. I thought it would be like how marrying Ryan felt, like this is how life has always been. Like my little family has always existed. It did not feel like that. It felt like we had a very demanding new roommate with a stupid sleep “schedule.” But one day, I don’t know when it happened, I looked up and I felt normal. Sloan fit perfectly, Ryan and I had actually spoken, I had washed my hair. We were a family.
3. Those blow out diapers happen way more than people let on.
4. The amount of things you can do with one hand.
It’s a good thing we all learned how to pick up things with our toes while we were pregnant, because that is a priceless skill now. I can declutter the living room, vacuum the carpet, cook dinner, and make a pot of coffee all without putting this bundle of joy down. Keep in mind this is only mostly-happy baby. Sleeping baby will not stay sleeping during house cleaning and grumpy baby will throw her pacifier and a fit all at the same time.
5. Her personality!
Sloan gets excited when I put her in the car seat because she loves car rides so much. She loves to eat. She’s obsessed with one particular blanket and will stare at it forever if you let her. She gets bored! You have to keep rotating activities so she’ll stay happy. She hates the car seat if it isn’t in a MOVING car. Who knew there would be so much to know about a baby?
6. That first smile wrecked me.
Her first smile was at my mom (thanks, kid) but the next day I was asking Sloan what she wanted to wear and she smiled right up at me. She stared at my face and smiled at me for two minutes and I cried like I was the baby. I’ve been waiting for that smile since January. I’m the luckiest mom in the whole world because I get this baby’s smiles for the rest of her life. I hold her when she cries and I will for her whole life if she lets me, but that smile. I’ve seen a lot of smiles in my time (I’m very funny so people laugh around me a lot), but her smile lights up my life. I live for it.
I love this life. I’m so blessed. Even on days when the dishes don’t get done or I can’t go to the grocery store on a whim or she cries all day or she stays awake for three hours starting at 2am, this is my favorite thing that I’ve ever done. What an adventure.